It's with a confused squint while scratching my head that I write this...where the fuck did the last 30 days go? Wherever it went it took some more of my not so hard earned capital with it. Despite a massive May, and a 6th place score in the Hollywood Poker Open Championship event in June, I still managed to lose back most of my profits for the year.
With July came the Main Event and all of the buzz that comes with it. I survived for two and a half days of grueling poker in that tournament and can't wait to get another crack at it next year. Since then I've played Bellagio Cup and the Cardplayer Poker Tour main event. I had a good start to the latter event, but fell short of cashing in it.
I'm not sure if it's a fear of success, or impatience to go the low-risk route in terms of money management, but I always seem to overextend in some way following a big milestone. May was my biggest month ever in cash games, and I followed that up with my biggest losing month ever, involving almost only tournaments, and July isn't exactly filling the void. I don't regret my choices, and perhaps that's a mistake that I can reflect on in the coming weeks. I know a handful of guys who would panic in my shoes, but I'm not there yet.
Emotional stability isn't really linked to money any more for me. I often go through the types of swings that make the 2008 housing crisis look like a break-even stretch. Over the course of three days in May I made over five times what I had made the 5 months prior. In June and July most of it fell to the gladiators at the WSOP. It's the nature of the beast. My only motivation for income at this point in my career is to make the best decision with the finances that I have in order to grow it as quickly as possible; all without endangering the livelihood of my family. It's a tightrope that some choose not to walk. I know there is a safe route. I know that it is possible to make $100k a year playing this game without even turning my brain on, but that's not what I'm after. I feel like I've got the keys to the kingdom, the hinges are just a little rusty on the gates...just need a little elbow grease.